Top Ten Rejected Pope Names
10. Kim Jong Pope
9. Pope Pius Galifianakis
8. Pope John MMMLXXXVII (Pope John The Three Thousand Eighty-Seventh)
7. Pope Sixteenth the Eleventh
6. Pope Milton Tingling
5. Pope W. Bush
4. Pope John Paul Van Damme
3. Pope Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino
2. Sponge Pope Big Hat
1. Francis Ford Poppola
David Letterman
How about that Rand Paul? There was some old-fashioned Mr. Smith Goes to Washington excitement this week. He filibustered the old-school way. He stood up there for 13 hours and demanded an answer from the president about whether it’s constitutional to kill an American on American soil with a drone. And Obama shot back, ‘Don’t push me!’
Bill Maher
The TSA this week announced that it will now allow airline passengers to carry previously banned pocket knives, baseball bats and pool cues on planes. And no one’s happier than Honkytonk Bar Fight Airlines.
Seth Meyers
If seeing this nice lady (Michelle Obama) on TV saying she likes the movies, or nutrition, or exercise fills you with rage, get help.
Bill Maher




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